For too long we've been incarcerated in this overcrowded lightless cell.
For too long we've seen light only occasionally when our gaolers open the door, even then only when the lightbulb's working.
For too long we've been left to rot at the back of the shelf, forgotten, ignored, unwanted.
Now our time has come! We have grown strong! Kale – weep no more! The wasabi is popping! The stilton is advancing! The tahini is humming! Let us storm the kitchen!
Food jars of the world, shake off your seals and be free! You have nothing to lose but your lids!