Blog Archives

Battle Of The Sexes

31/10/2014

150 words this time...

She was probably eighty or thereabouts, but that night she'd had a skinful. Staggering out of the bar, she bumped into a tall man in a dark uniform, almost knocking him over.

"Aren't you gonna apologise?" she demanded.

"Sorry, although I think it's you who should apologise, madam."

"Why?"

"I think you're drunk."

"I think you're overreacting," the lady said. Then she added, "What do you know anyway?"

"I think you're an elderly lady who's forgotten her manners."

"I think you're a typical male having a mid-life crisis. 33% of all men admit it. Why don't you make it 34%?" she slurred.

"I think you should be quiet now," he said.

"You're not the male authority figure here. Learn your place."

That did it. He arrested her for breach of the peace and she spent the night in custody. She was fined fifty pounds and warned to behave in future.

0 Comments

Can I Have My Money Back?

28/10/2014

0 Comments

In 2017, a previously-unknown retired teacher called William "Bill" Adbury changed the course of journalism worldwide when he bought a copy of the "Alloa Evening Gazette". Bill's attention had been drawn to a headline which suggested that every house in his own street was to be razed to make way for a Tesco hypermarket.

The report was pure fiction.

Two days later, Bill returned to his newsagent and demanded his money back under the Sale of Goods Act which insists that all items purchased must truthfully do what they claim. When the newsagent was unwise enough to refuse to refund Bill's money, Bill engaged a solicitor to pursue a case in the courts – against the newsagent, the newspaper itself and even the reporter personally.

The newsagent and reporter settled quickly. But the newspaper proprietors, afraid of creating a precedent, fought Bill and lost, costing them just £100.00 in damages but enormous sum in legal fees. They appealed, and when that appeal failed, appealed to a higher court still. Other readers and civil rights groups funded Bill's legal costs until seven years later the case finally came to a standstill when the newspaper declared itself bankrupt. The newspaper survived only because ownership passed by agreement into Bill's hands.

On 31st March 2014, Bill Adbury attended the editorial meeting for his new newspaper's launch the following day. Determined to set new standards in journalism from the outset, he instructed that his new acquisition's first headline should read "Scientists Prove Earth Is Flat."

0 Comments

Battle Of The Sexes

Can I Have My Money Back?

﻿﻿Longer﻿ Flash Fiction﻿

Archives

Longer Flash Fiction