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The Visiting Speaker

28/2/2014

The storytellers’ group sat in a circle, listening politely to the visiting speaker. He’d spoken for well over twenty minutes. Most of them were beginning to feel their eyes glaze over as he’d outlined his past history, then gone on to read some of his work. Some of the group were beginning to shuffle in their seats to relieve the discomfort in their behinds.

But a small number who were paying the greatest attention had begun to notice subtle changes in the appearance and behaviour of their guest.

Then they realised he had stopped speaking and become a giant penguin.

The Book Thief

28/2/2014

The presenter sat in his radio studio, smugly enjoying the moment. The previous day he’d managed to trick a local author into passing over a copy of his new book, much to the author’s annoyance. Now he was about to read from it to kill ten minutes of air time, illegally of course.

The book’s title – “Mysteries Of The Printed Page” – had intrigued him, but he hadn’t bothered to check it out.

He opened the book and prepared to read. Suddenly, what he saw on the page struck him dumb and blind; he never spoke or saw anything ever again.

Winter Olympics, 2022

22/2/2014

Because nobody could afford to host the 2022 Winter Olympics, the newly-independent Scotland had agreed to step in to fill the gap. Running the entire event using Skype, Wie and Dance Mats, none of the competitors even had to leave their native lands.

Sadly, the host nation were as useless as ever, claiming their first gold medals only on the last day. From living-room armchairs in front of their televisions, they won both men’s and women’s curling gold medals, beating Canada in the final each time.

Next day the Scots were all disqualified, testing positive for a banned substance: Irn-Bru.

Addiction

21/2/2014

He came through the door of the living room carrying the foil-wrapped package she craved so badly. She felt her pulse quicken in anticipation of the coming hit.

He held it in front of her, just out of reach.

“Bastard,” she yelled. “Give it here!”

“Cash on delivery. That cost me money,” her supplier said slyly. Power. She threw some cash at him, snatched the package, unwrapped it greedily.

Within seconds, the effects coursed through every part of her.

Then: guilt. As always, she swore she would make this her last time. But she knew chocolate was winning the battle.

My Valentine

14/2/2014

When he returned from being out, she had his dinner ready to eat on the table, and she knew he was happy. The table was laid out beautifully, adorned with red roses that she’d chosen lovingly for him, and she’d cooked chicken, his favourite, poached gently for twenty minutes just as he liked it.

It being Valentine’s Day, she’d dressed for the occasion; she wore his favourite dress, a red velour figure-hugging piece that she’d picked up in a boutique the previous year. As he studied her, she smiled: how she loved him.

Alice would do anything for her cat.

The Critic

7/2/2014

He waited for the appropriate response.

Sure enough she said, as programmed, “You are quite right, Master. My work has no meaning. It is worthless. I am worthless.”

He continued to gaze out of the window. “And it does not meet the requirements you were set,” he added.

She intoned, “You are quite right, Master. I did not meet the requirements as set. My work is worthless. I am worthless.”

He decided he was done. “You are dismissed.” She left immediately.

He smiled in satisfaction. At least he could criticise intelligently even if he himself could produce nothing of value.

The Visiting Speaker

The Book Thief

Winter Olympics, 2022

Addiction

My Valentine

The Critic

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The Visiting Speaker

The Book Thief

Winter Olympics, 2022

Addiction

My Valentine

The Critic

Flash Fiction

Collections(FREE!)Click on image

Archives

Collections
(FREE!)
Click on image