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Gordon Lawrie

Lester

20/2/2018

 
Dedicated to those irritating people who think it's all right to post endless self-aggrandising material on social media.
Every few hours Lester posted links advertising his book. Lester's book was about the meaning of life, but he also wrote about marketing books about the meaning of life.
 
Lester posted on Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook, in fact every social media outlet available. Weak, sweet-natured managers generally tolerated his posts and let him carry on.
 
Too late, they realised that Lester's posts were taking over the internet, that only Lester's posts would be visible. Lester's meaning of life book was full of blank pages. Lester didn't actually write any fiction, because Lester himself was fiction; Lester was an algorithm.

High Standards

16/2/2018

 
"The publisher insists on high standards," the editor said to the author. "No spelling errors, grammar misssteps, plot holes, continuity blunders or character inconsistencies. Only perfection."
 
"And what happens if...?" the author asked.
 
"Just don't. It's bad. Rules are rules, expect no mercy."

"Wow." The author handed over his manuscript apprehensively. "Isn't it your job to correct mistakes?"
 
"Nope, my job's to stop them appearing in books."
 
A week later, they met again.
 
"On page 167, you wrote, 'The bell rung'. It's 'rang'," said the editor. The author's blood ran cold as he saw the loaded gun turn towards him.

Oysters

9/2/2018

 
Picture

Piano

2/2/2018

 
Picture
The woman studied the piano in the junk shop. Eight keys missing, half made no sound, a suggestion of woodworm.
 
"£10?" She wore a tight-fitting calf-length red dress and Chanel No. 5, equally powerfully.
 
"Fit for firewood," said the shopowner.
 
Drawing up a chair, the woman closed her eyes in prayer, then hovered her hands over the keys. Untouched, the piano began playing: a Chopin Nocturne, then a Mozart Sonata.
 
"Can I collect it tommorrow?" she asked, eventually.
 
"Yes."
 
She paid £10 and left. When the shopowner arrived next day the piano was gone. All that remained was the tenner.

Regular readers will recognise the piano player.
You can find out more about her here.
Picture

    Flash Fiction

    Flash fiction is very, very short fiction indeed - short stories of any sort of length from a Haiku to ten minutes' reading. Good for when you're in a hurry. This series is a selection of contributions to Friday Flash Fiction, where there's a limit of 100 words. I try to make all mine exactly 100 words.

    Archives

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    100 NOT OUT
    If you enjoy these stories, why not buy Gordon's first collection of these, called '100 Not Out'? Available for all types of e-readers including Kindle and iPad, for free. Completely free.

    Click here to find out more.


Picture
Website by Platform 36 

Photo used under Creative Commons from puroticorico