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Gordon Lawrie

Terminal Neurostupidoma

27/10/2020

 
The surgeon was showing the patient an x-ray of his head.

"Bad news, sir," said the medic. "That mass in your brain is terminal neurostupidoma."

The patient shrugged. "Nothing wrong with me, doc."

"Typical symptoms are complete deafness and blindness. You feel nothing."

"Deaf? Blind?"

"What's climate change? Black lives matter? COVID?"

"Don't exist. Bullshit, all of them."

"As I said, sir, deaf and blind. That and your hat."
The patient stood up, marched over to a wall mirror and pointed to his red baseball cap.

"So? It's a regular cap. Popular brand – AGAM. Everybody's wearing them."

"Not everyone, sir."

The Girl in the Crowd

2/10/2020

 
Sometimes, I see her in distant crowds. I try to ensure she doesn't see me, but I suspect she's picked me out once or twice. I'm not sure who's likely to be more embarrassed by memories of our brief liaison, her or me. We simply needed each other at the time, but it turned out that her need for me was even more short-term than my need for her. And it was hardly ideal for morale to discover that I wasn't even her only one.
 
I'd still love to know what she saw in me during those few short weeks.

    Flash Fiction

    Flash fiction is very, very short fiction indeed - short stories of any sort of length from a Haiku to ten minutes' reading. Good for when you're in a hurry. This series is a selection of contributions to Friday Flash Fiction, where there's a limit of 100 words. I try to make all mine exactly 100 words.


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    If you enjoy these stories, why not download Gordon's first two collections of these, called '100 Not Out' and '200 Not Out'? Available for all types of e-readers including Kindle and iPad, for free. Completely free, no strings.

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