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Gordon Lawrie

The Visitor

30/4/2016

 
Incredibly, this story has a grain of truth in it. A teaching colleague had his English class interrupted one hot summer's day when a passing horse wandered by and stuck its head through the classroom window. We never found out yet what the horse wanted.

Around three o’clock, Greta was rather surprised to find a large horse outside on her front doorstep. She took a moment to compose herself.
 
“Good afternoon,” she said politely. “Can I help you?”
 
“Nay,” said the horse.
 
“Are you collecting for charity, perchance?”
 
“Nay.”
 
“Selling something? Looking for a job?” Greta asked, patiently.
 
“Nay,” the horse said again.
 
“Then it appears I can’t help you,” said Greta, starting to closing the door.
 
The horse deposited a significant quantity of manure on the path.
 
“My apologies,” it said. “I needed to use your toilet but I was too embarrassed to ask.”

Competition Time

30/4/2016

 
Angela rubbed her hands gleefully: it was Flash Fiction Competition season again. For some years now, she and her partner Mark had been running writing contests which offered substantial prizes, plus a not insubtantial element of glory for the winners.
 
Their method of selection was simple. Mark allocated each entry a number, then Angela shut her eyes and called out ten random numbers. Once they’d chosen this shortlist, they were simply left with choosing first, second and third, while the rest were “Highly Commended”.
 
The best part of all? Each entry brought £5.00. Plenty left over after awarding the prizes.

Going Dutch

22/4/2016

 
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Far into the night, Tom grew ever more determined. Again, he broke three eggs, separating the yolks into a bowl. Then over a small pan quarter-filled with water, he added a little water and stirred; then little by little he patiently added butter, stirring the mix all the time to encourage it to blend properly. When the sauce started to thicken a little, he switched off the heat, added lemon juice, salt and pepper, then... it curdled.
 
So difficult. But Tom wasn’t going to let something like Hollandaise sauce defeat him. Again he cracked three eggs, separating yolks from whites...

A Short History of the USA in 100 Words

15/4/2016

 
Technically fiction at time of writing.

After a career chopping trees, Washington and his pals got rid of some Brits. The new boys wrote a Constitution, changed it and adored the changes, drove cars, got seriously rich, led the free world, executed criminals, drove cars, fell in love with guns and steak, drove cars, fought a few wars but only elsewhere and generally acted schizophrenically. As you might expect from a cold hot dry wet country.
 
Then they elected a president who offered hope, tried, but couldn’t deliver. Then? Some fist-swinging guy from a bar in Nooyoik who renamed the country TrumpAmerica and US history ended.

The Last Great Artificial Intellegence Challenge

9/4/2016

 
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After Go and chess, AI moved onto Sizzle, the board-game played with super-hot naga chillis and straight faces. Players tell jokes; opponents who laugh consume the chillis.

For the long-awaited contest with Sizzle world champion Sharon Wilson, BlueSkyThinking™ learned every joke ever told, meanwhile inventing new ones. Rehearsing, it had sent Russian star Alexei Markov to hospital with “Why did the chicken cross the motorway?”

But Wilson was ready. On move eighty-one she played a stunning eleven-chilli pentagram, throwing rhubarb pies at the computer’s face. Prepared only for custard, BlueSkyThinking™ blew a fuse. Wilson was carried shoulder-high from the arena.

In Panama

8/4/2016

 
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It took some time to trawl through eleven million Mossack Fonseca files, working down through the politicians, the business executives, the bankers, the sports stars, the pop musicians and the criminals. Low-life beneficiaries of the British Virgin Islands’ tax-avoidance environment simply weren’t seen as newsworthy.
 
But the police saw things differently. Knowing it was easier to prosecute ‘little guys’ of the crime world, Interpol searched for – and stumbled upon – ordinary shadowy figures running an extraordinary shell company. It was the ultimate financial scam; no tax was paid because no one appeared to make any money in Friday Flash Fiction, BVI...

    Flash Fiction

    Flash fiction is very, very short fiction indeed - short stories of any sort of length from a Haiku to ten minutes' reading. Good for when you're in a hurry. This series is a selection of contributions to Friday Flash Fiction, where there's a limit of 100 words. I try to make all mine exactly 100 words.


    Collections
    (FREE!)
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    If you enjoy these stories, why not download Gordon's first two collections of these, called '100 Not Out' and '200 Not Out'? Available for all types of e-readers including Kindle and iPad, for free. Completely free, no strings.

    Click on one of the images below...

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